Robn Golf Week 1: All Masters Responses; Dramatis Personae; Suspense or Suspension?

The boring but persistent Masters undercurrent, much like UConn just perpetuated in college basketball, is that there is one contender who has been and will be better than everyone else.

Scottie Scheffler leads the field in total True Strokes Gained by nearly an entire stroke, and that's with a below-average putter. He's finished outside the Top 20 in only two of his prior 32 tournaments. He has the third-lowest odds to win of any player since 2000. It's easy to think that his is the only name to really know this week.

But what about the names in our tournament? That's the real draw here.

There are 22 of you joining us for this eight-week golf journey – that is, at the outset.

Much as the early American pioneers lacked the skills and endurance to make the journey through the untamed West, some of you will peel off by Week 3 or die of dysentery.

But others will make it through the whole gamut (hey, college football was 14 weeks, basketball was 10 weeks, we're trending in the right direction, here) and come to discover the power and the glory of a Robn title.

Here's who you're competing against:

Automatic Qualifiers

• Kevin "Leave A Message At The..." Tone - The Jon Rahm of the Robn Golf field. Fiery. A Champion. Get off of his lawn. There can be no more "automatic" of a qualifier than our most recent crowned champion.
• Brian "Papa Bear" McGuigan - The Keith Mitchell of the Robn Golf field. This real-life PGA insider is one of The Boys, and enters on the heels of being up all night tailing Golf Channel pundits' picks.
• Larry "Illegally Detained In" Moscowitz - The Will Zalatoris of the Robn Golf field. Clean. Rises to the occasion. Something a little weird with the ears. The only person to pick Tiger to not make his 24th consecutive cut. Sensible, and growing likelier by each rainy hour (alternate nickname: The Night Doula).
• Alex "Ranger Of The North" Aragon - The Joaquin Niemann of the Robn Golf field. A popular futures pick to win it all, not even recent parenthood can stop Aragon, defending regular season champion of Robn College Basketball, from sitting out this tournament.
• Michael "The Peloquin Brief" Peloquin - The Wyndham Clark of the Robn Golf. We have no past champions in this event, but if it did, this Georgia native would likely be one of them, and thus the recipient of a lifetime invitation to this event.
• Raymond "Oh- Whoa. No!" Owono - The Collin Morikawa of the Robn Golf field. If memory serves, Morikawa made a name for himself by making something like 30 cuts in a row. Ray has the same consistency, and is always in it toward the end.
• Joe "Blue Emu" Emig - The Rich Beem of the Robn Golf field. The great bird migrated south over a long, harsh winter following this staggering accomplishment: He played in 2024 College Basketball Tournament for 8 weeks and did not earn a single point. He is now back to warmer climes.
• Zack "Professor Z" Talbott - The Ludvig Adberg of the Robn Golf field. A young dark horse who probably incidentally has Swedish ancestry anyway, and who could well have been in the amateur category were it not for his underwhelming rendering of services in the recent College Basketball Tournament, Zack studies the game like few others.
• Jake "The COO" Williams - The Rory McIlroy of the Robn Golf field. Conscientious. English-speaking non-American who is nonetheless very popular in America. Wouldn't take the bag. A gamer who is routinely in contention.
• "Downtown" Tyler Brown - The Viktor Hovland of the Robn Golf field. Has shown flashes of brilliance and early leads/points totals, but hasn't put it all together, yet. No more 74s on Sundays, Tyler.
• Josh "Clutching His" Pearl - The Rickie Fowler of the Robn Golf field. I have a tendency with Josh, your recent College Basketball runner up, to make comparisons purely on aesthetics. Josh claims his doppelgänger is Brad Pitt (and I'm Vanna White), but I'm getting a little Rickie vibe.
• DJ "The Sioux Falls Samurai" Leary - The Tyrrell Hatton of the Robn Golf field. And he doesn't even like British people that much!
• Tim "Father Christmas" Merck - The Phil Mickelson of the Robn Golf field. Cagey vet. Knows where the bodies are. He took the bag, but when he walks up 17 and smirks you just can't help but root for him.
• Jon "Not Pfizer, But..." Merck - The Tony Finau of the Robn Golf field. The perfect playing partner, he'll string together holes of brilliance and begin to pose a threat to win and then break his ankle walking on flat ground.
• Jeff "Shittens" Lunsman - The Bryson DeChambeau of the Robn Golf field. He's actually not competing in this event - needing a breather after accidentally accomplishing T5s in both College Football and College Basketball - but I've included him anyway because the comparison is so stark.

Honorary Invitees / Friends Of The Committee

• Dustin "Dustbin" Gouker - Awarded entry at the discretion of the committee for his help in the furtherance of all things Robn
• Evan "Better Hair Than Mark" Davis - Awarded entry at the discretion of the committee for his help in the furtherance of all things Robn
• Sarah "The Cruise Missile" Hogan - Awarded entry at the discretion of the committee for her help in the furtherance of all things Robn

Amateurs Cracking The Robn Ranks For The First Time

• Matt Rybaltowski
• Dan Bravato
• Chad Geren

As Analog As A $3 Pimento Cheese Sandwich

Other than the seeming consensus that the final margin of victory will be two strokes, and roughly a third of you thinking the winner will be one of Scottie, Xander or Brooks, none of you can agree on anything here.

Varied responses make for varied, and more interesting outcomes.

Check back throughout the weekend at the link below for our version of "live scoring" which updates scores at the end of each round.

Click below for everyone's responses

2024 Robn Golf Sweepstakes Tournament - Google Drive

Google Drive

Slow Out Of The Gate

Tee times were delayed more than 2 hours this morning for inclement weather. While it's not likely that we see another suspension today, many golfers will not finish their rounds.

The final four groups of the day are the chief victims of this rescheduling, and they're loaded with names, including Woods, Homa, Koepka, Theegala, Spieth, Fleetwood, DJ and Day.

Not ideal for an old Tiger.