CBB '24 - Week 8: What A Time For The Lights To Go Out

In honor of AT&T and Verizon's technical performance this past week, HQ's hardware pooed the bed. The little orange LED light on the MagSafe cable-end went black, the lappy went black, and small demonic tones started playing and a cold rush swept over HQ's offices.

What A Time For The Lights To Go Out

Week 8 Card

In honor of AT&T and Verizon's technical performance this past week, HQ's hardware pooed the bed. Grading time and card-making time - a Thursday ritual unlike any other that Mrs. Robn just adores and that always takes exactly as long as the Commissioner says it will and doesn't cut into foot-rub time or trashy tv show time - was about to commence, when a defective charger was unable resuscitate a dangerously low laptop battery.

The little orange LED light on the MagSafe cable end went black, the lappy went black, and small demonic tones started playing and a cold rush swept over HQ's offices.

So, the new ritual is standing in line like a simp at the Apple store talking about USB-C cables in a tonal manner designed to indicate you're not one of those old people, but that you're young and in the know (about cables?) just like the purposefully unkempt rat-moustached 24-or-47-year-old guy helping you. It's the same thing as when police or emergency services arrive on scene and are trying to ascertain what's going on – there's always that one neighbor or person you're with who will address the cop with too much familiarity. You and me – you the law enforcement professional, and me, the fitness instructor – we both get it, equally. We can speak to each other like this is all so blasé and routine, as if we're both people of authority. I know I already told you that I have uselessly blurry footage of the perp on my Arlo, but I'm going to keep working it into the one-sided conversation I'm having with you while we stand here with our hands on our hips and I gesture vaguely at the neighborhood.

Well, your commissioner was heading in this conversational direction with Apple Rat Man during a delay at check-out. I identified and hated myself for it. I atoned at Chipotle shortly thereafter and received the type of absolution that only a mis-planned diet of chips/guacamole and morning coffee can deliver.

Many hours were wasted in service of this technical failure and subsequent technological posturing. As such, there is no long-form meandering in today's piece - just regular meandering. Please forgive or rejoice as needed.

By The Numbers

Last week's volume was much more evenly matched across than previous weeks.

We accidentally swapped lines on Kentucky/Auburn for the first two hours after the card came out (Auburn was listed as the underdog but should have been the favorite, and vice versa). The correction of this error didn't dampen people's enthusiasm for picking the Tigers, which didn't work out too well. Shout out to Sarah Hogan for being the lone Kentucky backer, taking the Wildcats as the equivalent of 7.5-point underdogs on the road against an Auburn team that was bound to regress after a 40-point drubbing of South Carolina.

Alex "Ranger Of The North" Aragon has vaulted over his known associate, "Downtown" Tyler Brown, and into first place headed into Week 8. The two sit virtually tied, well above third-place contestant Michael "Seymour" Hirshenson.

He did it by putting every Simolean at his disposal on our fourth-most popular game of the week, Wisconsin-Iowa. The Hawkeyes won on a last-second Tony Perkins lay-in as short underdogs.

Aragon is doing all of this while imminently expecting a child, so please, never tell me that you're too busy to Robn.

Also, a la Collin Sherwin, yet another contestant finds themselves in the hospital for not-at-all life-threatening but still annoying reasons. We're sending defending Robn College Football Champion Chelsea "Oh My (Goss)!" Everyone please stay out of the hospital. You can't be in the hospital for March Madness. Those two things don't compute at once.

Other major winners in Week 7 included A.G. Burnett, who decided to ride the Fade-South Carolina train to 2,350 points and got off at 17th place.

Noted Ute Ryan Munson faded BYU on the road at major underdog Oklahoma State, who pulled off the upset. Munson won 2,170. If the tournament started today, Munson would be the 5th overall seed.

This weekend, as our above image indicates, we're giving some love to the Big West.

UC Irvine takes on UC San Diego in a battle for conference supremacy. Irvine is yet again a really good basketball team and will scare the pants off of a three-seed in a few weeks.

Fewer folks know about UC San Diego. The Tritons, not to be confused with the University of San Diego Torreros, have never had a winning record in their history playing Division 1 basketball. They're currently 18-9, ranked approximately 100th in the country, and one game back from UC Irvine for the Big West lead.

Head coach Eric Olen was the Tritons' head coach during the team's consistently successful run in Division II. Not often you see the same coach experience success with the same team at different levels of the sport.

If you like guard play, this game is for you. UC San Diego is led by Bryce Pope and Hayden Gray, who will match up against a balanced Anteaters backcourt led by Derin Saran (nickname suggestion when he fouls: "Saran Wrap"), Justin Hohn and Andre Henry.

So... are you taking plus points on the Tritons, or backing Big West stalwart, the trusty Anteaters? Click the image below to allocate points to the game.