cfb

The Week 2 CFB Tournament -- Final Results

In honor of Billy Napier and Mike Norvell getting preliminarily rung up on charges, we introduce the badly-needed concept of the College Football Funeral. Then we answer your questions about how Tournaments work, and release the Robn Week 2 College Football Tournament, presented by Rotowire.

Week 2 Tournament Results

Seasonlong Standings (The Power 20)

Week 2 Tournament Responses

Introducing The College Football Funeral

We'll get into your Tournament FAQs below in detail (there were many), but first we have an FAQ of our own:

What artist will the University of Florida Athletic Department hire to play "Taps" at Billy Napier's funeral?

Stupid ideas deserve stupid solutions, so we should turn to AI – not for an answer, but to facilitate the performance.

In Tallahassee it seems like it would have to be an AI-recreated Tom Petty (who, oddly, grew up in Gainesville).

For the funeral of Mike Norvell, who somehow still seems more secure in his job at Florida State in spite of doing the same as Napier with more over twice as many games, one envisions an AI-recreated Jim Morrison, one of the school's most famous musical alumni.

In a reality where every school who fired their coach was forced to stage a public, open funeral, would we not watch? Would we not be entertained?

Who wouldn't sponsor this?

Uh, Ross? Yeah, Jim Clark over here at Nabisco. We hope you remember who it was that got you Snap, Crackle and Pop on short notice to release those singing doves during the procession for Jimbo, we really think you should reconsider Mike Elko for the job.

Would other CFB coaches and dignitaries have to attend? Would rivals be banned? Where would they house the protestors? Would people tailgate? Would there be concessions?

The services themselves would need to be held at the former coach's home stadium just to accommodate crowd side. But honoring the departed at the location where they murdered the hopes and dreams of 90% of their fanbase is a little like honoring a fallen soldier at the site where he incidentally massacred innocent civilians.

Think about the scale of the idea. We could expand this to funerals for conferences! The Pac-12 and Bill Walton could've gotten a group rate.

For discarded naming rights sponsors! Watch, live, as Riccardo Silva is reincarnated as Pitbull.

For legitimately-historically-offensive or caving-to-the-mob mascot switches! The Northeastern State and Rio Grande Redmen are each interred, one hopes, in a closed casket ceremony.

We could expand it for Lee Corso!

Coaches are easy to dislike in a group-pile-on sense because they make so much money, see, and they don't win every game. Nor do they make the decisions that I, Illuminated Fan, want them to, and they're old and entitled. Celebrating some rich guy getting his comeuppance for not doing what I want makes me feel somehow cosmically better, like how after a girl is broken up with by one man, her friend cheers her up by bashing all men universally. Employees get fired all the time, so what's the big deal with firing a coach?

We absolutely could not, however, expand the concept of funerals to star players. They make so much money in NIL deals, see, and they don't make every play. Nor do they make the decisions that I, Illuminated Fan, want them to, and they're young and entitled. Celebrating some younger guy getting cruelly dismissed for not being perfect makes me feel so angry on their behalf, because they're vulnerable and being victimized. You can't fire a student athlete, even if the student athlete is an employee. When we said they should be employees we didn't mean those types of employees. We mean the ones who are still victimizable if we want them to be so we can use them as an excuse to pump even more money into a sport and corrupt it further in favor of the wealthiest programs.

And now, let's answer your FAQs about the tournament, below!

FAQs On How The Tournament Works

Where do I get an Entry Code: We email you an Entry Code once you complete a Valid Method of Entry. The Entry Code you get is your Entry Code in perpetuity to be used for any and all Robn Tournaments.
What is a Valid Method of Entry: We have two Valid Methods of Entry. You can purchase a monthly or annual subscription to Robn Content. Or, like in any sweepstakes, you can commit an alternative free method of entry, which costs nothing.
Where do I input my Entry Code when I purchase a Robn subscription: You don't. You don't use an Entry Code to purchase anything. You just use it on the Tournament Form. You receive an Entry Code for purchasing a subscription, or completing another Valid Method of Entry.

I'm extremely lame and want to play anonymously: If you want to be known by a plausible but fake name on the leaderboard, then contact us and let us know and we'll display you as such. BUT... you still have to submit your real legal name to us on the Entry Form itself, because a legal requirement of participating in a legal sweepstakes is ensuring contestants are who they say they are (over 18, aren't playing on behalf of someone else, legal U.S. resident, etc.). We can't do that if we don't have your real name. If you input a fake name on the Tournament Form, your entry will be invalidated and won't qualify for any prize, not matter how many points your picks earn.
Why aren't there seasonlong standings anymore: There are. They'll be posted next to the Weekly standings after Week 2. Instituting weekly prizes this year enables more folks to win more cash and prizes more often. But we still have the seasonlong points format in order to confer appropriate glory to a seasonlong champion.
How do I "log in" to the Tournament: You don't. We publicly post/tweet/email the Tournament Form, on which you make and submit Tournament picks. You fill the Form out. At the end of the Form, you input your Entry Code, which confirms that you've qualified to play by completing a Valid Method of Entry.
Where do I view everyone's picks and the live leaderboard as the action unfolds: Three places.
- Website: We'll link each of these items in the rolling weekly Tournament post (i.e. this post for the Week 2 Tournament) for all to view on robnsports.com
- Email: We also will email all Tournament participants the above links. It will probably go to your spam folder
- Text: In an option debuting this week (pray for HQ Tech support) you can opt in to be texted a link to all of the items described above
Why didn't I get the picks/results/leaderboard email: Probably because it went to your spam folder, the bane of our existence. Please whitelist commissioner@playrobn.com and will@playrobn.com. Also, if you ever don't receive the Tournament email, it will always be posted on the website, unpaywalled.

A sampling of some of the Week 2 highlights.

Will there be enough room in Ann Arbor to squeeze in all the egos comprising every traveling, bloated morning show? I hope not. I hope Urban Meyer and Pat McAfee are sucked by their mutual gravitational forces into a supermassive black hole. But that might knock out the game signal, which would be unfortunate, because this is an important one to watch, even if Michigan is having a "down year."

Texas is the rare team coming into a game of this magnitude with momentum when their opponent is a) the defending national champion, and b) perceived to have regressed somehow. In other words, the momentum is implicit to things Texas, as good as Ewers and both lines are, has not newly done itself.

And Michigan's regression consists of... a murky quarterback situation, losing a ton of players to the NFL, a new staff and the delivery of a notice of allegations? OK. Maybe.

One thing Michigan has that everyone still knows is a defense, led by an elite secondary. This is why I'm not yet convinced that the home is a mere also-ran in this game. Texas played against a sieve last week in Colorado State. Being favored by more than a touchdown in the Big House makes it feel like it's 2019.

We know Arkansas is talented, largely based on high school recruiting rankings and the "athleticism" of a few skill position players that return from last year. But we don't know more than that because they played Little Sisters of the Bluff last week and won 70-0.

They're a bit like an island of misfit toys. Taylen Green is fresh in from Boise State. Ja'Quinden Jackson is fresh in from Utah. Let's see if Bobby Petrino – who is back on the 1s and 2s as OC – can scheme up more of a vertical passing game that puts the Cowboys on their back feet.

We said at the beginning of the year that even in the high teens, Oklahoma State might be undervalued, largely because their offensive unit is elite and protects stars Bowman and Gordon very well. They dispatched the defending FCS champions (who would nearly be a top 25 team in FBS) by two touchdowns more than they were already expected to.

The Cowboys' schedule is very front-loaded this year and sets up very nicely. After visiting Tulsa next week, they host Utah and go to Kansas State in what might be the Big 12's two best games this season. Beating an SEC opponent by a touchdown or two would be a resume boost. Don't expect Gundy to lay off the gas.

Last year's Utah team was, as usual, stubbornly, imposingly solid. But this year's team has two significant upgrades. A stud quarterback, and a Big 12 schedule. Baylor has no chance. Next.

Again, we're going to put our preview of this game right here, as this says all there really is to say.

This is a big game for Matt Rhule, who lost a ton of close games last year and couldn't quite get Nebraska to a bowl – as if this fan base hasn't suffered enough. Bowl games seem superficial, and for good reason, but if Nebraska finds a way to play all 60 minutes and stay aggressive downfield against Colorado, it likely beats Northern Iowa next week, and then needs only 3 of 6 against Illinois, Purdue, Rutgers, Indiana, UCLA and Wisconsin. This is meaningful to people in Lincoln.

Dylan Raiola is here and appears to be real. 238 yards and two touchdowns as a true freshman ain't bad, even if it came against UTEP.

North Dakota State, an FCS team that's not particularly known for the type of athleticism that can go up against, say, Travis Hunter, averaged more than 12 yards per passing attempt against Colorado last week. That would be Top 15 in FBS. Raiola can exploit this secondary.

Speaking of Hunter – how many snaps can he continue to play before snapping, and how well can Shedeur Sanders go over the top of a damn good Nebraska linebacker group and attack the secondary?

Expect a lot of deep passes in this game.

We will end the evening with an ode to The Pirate. This game is so gross. This game is like when you eat only dessert for dinner and don't have the actual dinner.

These two schools are mirror images of one another.

They gave up a combined 81 points to (not particularly good) FCS schools last week at home, and scored a combined 122.
Wazzu OC Ben Arbuckle and Texas Tech OC Zach Kittley both list Bailey Zappe at Western Kentucky prominently amongst their coaching credits, and were both at Houston Baptist before that.
They are both noted quarterback mentors and Air Raid acolytes.

The names of the quarterbacks in this game are Behren Morton and John Mateer. Don't bother learning anyone else's name.

To of our college fantasy football playing friends over at Volume Pigs – batten down the hatches and pick up every WR you can.